Free your mind at Barbie Deinhoff’s, Berlin

Photo is from Barbie Deinhoff's facebook page - I hope they dont mind.

Have you ever caught yourself pondering questions of your existence in a world that seems to have no purpose beyond feeding its own tail into its mouth? Do you notice the blank despair on the faces of the people you pass and can you feel the very essence of life draining through your fingertips on to the screen in your hand as your brain atrophies in the vacuous ignorance fed to you as entertainment? Have you ever considered that your employer appears not to understand the words “stay foolish” or “think outside the box” while you nod your head like a wind-up dog learning, in silent anguish, of an amazing opportunity to take on extra work, for free, that could lead to a higher rung on the ladder of meaninglessness?

Stop. Wake up!

Skip work. Take the subway to the train station, or a train to the airport, sell your stuff and buy a VW camper, feel the engine purr as you put your foot on the gas. Turn left. Drive towards the east. Lose the wheels, take the U-bahn to Schlesisches Tor station in Kreutzburg, then skip across Oppelner Straße and 5 minutes along Schlesische Straße to number 16. Here is an establishment with a graffiti-decorated, pink and violet façade by the name of Barbie Deinhoff’s.

The place is neon-lit, smoky, and the décor is junk shop fun and funky. The music is loud techno and the people are artists, students and intellectuals, rubbing shoulders (and anything else that gets in the way) with cherry-lipped drag queens or those clad in BDSM gear. Welcome to Berlin.

Get a drink.  The cocktails are cheap and cheaper still during happy hour. Turn and speak to the person on your right, tell them you’re a friend of Franz (or any other name you can think of). “Life is a canvas,” she will tell you with a voice like ground coffee in a heavy German accent, “unt you are ze verk off art!”

You start to sway to the music then through the haze you notice a tattoo on somebody’s shoulder. It is a snake eating its tail that forms a circle and all life’s complexities unravel. All things are circular. Wheels within wheels. The meaning of life is what you give to yourself. Your lonely boss, like all who believe they live in the real world, is just trying to reach out across the void in the hope of contact.

Everything that once was, is no more.

You are free.

Wake up. You’re in the camper. Drive back. Slip the key to the camper and the address of Barbie Deinhoff’s in an envelope and send it to your boss. You are happy. Like. Share this article. Life is good.